I sure hope that inner beauty was shining through on Saturday night

I've discovered Skype! It's so clever and I feel just like Captain Kirk on the Star Trek Enterprise. I thought cordless phones were advanced back in the 80s but Friends, we are living in a Science Fiction movie!

There is one little drawback to my Skype discovery and that is the lack of fellow Skypers. So far I've interacted with my Facebook friend in England, and Beloved in bed (although not at the same time). Beloved has a cute little e-book and until the novelty wore off, as a special treat we'd sit next to each other in bed and Skype from e-book to laptop. Sometimes we'd even do it from different rooms.

Skype got even more exciting for me when my long-lost niece T, in Canada,  arranged a video call on Saturday night. This was to be our first real-time "meeting" and being very excited,  I wanted to make a good first impression. We'd worked out our times and I spent two hours beforehand getting myself ready. I chose to wear electric blue (to go with my eye liner) and spent ages curling, straightening and re-curling my hair. I was ready. I logged on. I waited....

I tried to google the time difference between New Zealand and Canada. I forgot exactly which part of Canada I was supposed to google. I checked an hour later. I sadly wondered if I'd been forgotten, shut down the laptop, put on a scruffy shirt and wandered off to the bathroom to colour my hair. Remember Murphy and his law? Murphy made an arrest. My son M logged onto my laptop and when the video call alert came through he discovered that T and I had miscalculated our rendezvous by a couple of hours. So I skyped with my hair wrapped in bits of tinfoil (yes, a former hairdresser can put foil highlights in her own hair) and without makeup. I was mortified.

Very funny God.

I think I'm going off Skype.

I did my best to explain to T that I honestly was looking much nicer two hours earlier and she was fabulous. She put me at ease. She introduced me to her new boyfriend and between them they didn't seem to care that I looked a mess. T has even agreed to wear a face pack for our next Skype.

1 Samuel 16:7 says something about people looking at what's on the outside while God looks at the heart. I think sometimes God helps some special people look past the outside too. I sure hope that's what T was doing. She seems to like me just as I am and it's reassuring to know that God does too.

So...I have a friend who I believe is totally beautiful. She has fabulous hair (compliments to her new hairdresser gratefully received, thank you), dimples when she smiles and her eyes shine when she's happy. She's very modest and doesn't seem to see it herself but her heart is so full of Jesus that His beauty radiates from her. I tell her she has her Father's eyes.

I hope that my heart can be so full of Jesus that He spills out of my eyes too.

God hears little voices

You know what? God likes kids. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I never want to grow up. That, and being able to lick ice cream out of the bottom of my bowl with my tongue. I was rostered on for Sunday School this morning and sadly my partner Z and I were just slightly lacking in preparation and practice. Kids pick up on that pretty quickly. I managed to blunder through the Welcome, the roll and the singing while Z hyped the kids up with some games. I also made it a priority to review the RULES with the kids about how to behave and not behave during their time with us. Actually, some of the kids have made up their own rules: No idioticity, No Retardedness (I find that one slightly non-PC), No Violence...they've come a long way from the "I answer hands not voices" rule.  Come to think of it, I'd much prefer to think of the rules as "Behaviour Guidelines". It sounds so much more child-friendly, don't you think?

One of the most terrifying "guidelines" is that after one official WARNING, if a child continues to misbehave, he or she "might be" unceremoniously marched up to the church and sat with their parents in front of the entire congregation so that the rest of the kids can enjoy the morning. Oh the embarrassment! If this were to happen twice in a term (and thankfully it never has) then the child might find that they need to bring a parent or caregiver with them to the lesson. This could get awkward for one or two of the kids, since their dad is the Pastor. That could be interesting. If the Pastor had to escort his child to Sunday School, then the entire congregation would need to escort the Pastor so that they can listen to the sermon. I'm not sure how we'd go with finding enough room on the mat for them all and I doubt very much that my 84 year old Mum would be able to get back up off the mat. Come to think of it, we DO need a few more adults in our Sunday School programme...

Today wasn't going too badly considering Z and I were just stumbling our way through the lesson. We had one little terror in there this morning and I'm afraid I was pushed to the point of issuing an actual WARNING. It didn't seem to me that today's lesson was having much of an impact on our kids and in the back of my mind I was blaming the lack of preparation. The irony is that the lesson was about being prepared to do God's work. But wait...all was not lost. I HAD prepared! Before the lesson I'd asked Z to pray with me and we gave the morning over to our Majestical Bestie. When the kids arrived and started bouncing on the mat, I got them to fold their arms and close their eyes, and ask Jesus to come and visit with us. So maybe something special was about to happen after all.

It did.

We wrapped the lesson up far too early and, trying to fill in the gap, I decided to sit the kids down in a circle and talk with them about the devastating earthquake in Christchurch. Suddenly it seemed that gates were opening as kids talked about their family and friends and how thankful they were that they weren't hurt, how scared they were for them, how sad they were for the people who have died. They wanted...needed to talk. I suggested we talk to God about it, which we did. Then of all people, my little friend who had given me so much trouble earlier in the morning, asked if we could please have a two-minute silence for the people who had been affected by this major tragedy. I was gob-smacked. Our entire country is doing just this on Tuesday - one week after the event - but he was adamant that he wanted to do it there and then. All the kids agreed. Part of me was skeptical about expecting 7 - 11 year olds to sit in complete silence for so long but we did it. They did it. During that time they prayed quietly. They thought about their families. They thought about people who had lost homes, jobs and even their lives. They did it, not because their Sunday School teacher asked them to, but because they wanted to quietly tell God what they were feeling.

It was a special moment and a privilege to be part of it. God can teach us a lot through his little ones - even the slightly naughty ones :-)

Warning: This is a slightly soppy post

I've been thinking a bit about God and stuff lately. Maybe even more so than usual - which probably isn't a bad thing. Without sounding too cryptic as I talk about this (I know I'm an open book much of the time but some things are still a little private) I prayed earnestly for "something" to happen quite a few years ago. "Something special" that I wanted...needed.  But over the years, that "special thing" eluded me and I began to think that God might have forgotten. During those years life's ups and downs took hold and I just plodded along.  Then, more recently some stuff got in the way of my living. There was a bit of heartbreak and quite honestly I came extremely close to giving up.

 But God stepped in...and something else was happening. That "special thing" that I needed...it was right there. That "special thing" had arrived. God hadn't forgotten about me.  And someone else had been praying for that "special thing" for a long time too. And I think when the time was just right, God just might have said, "Yes! NOW is the time to put all this together. I'm sorry you had to wait so long my Darling Child, but THIS is the time for it to happen."

So, a very personal and heart-felt prayer has been answered. The funny thing is, that I'm surprised and amazed. In fact I was so surprised that I even began to doubt this wonderful "something". I couldn't define it, I couldn't put it in a box, I couldn't even believe that it was right for me to have it. Yes, God is amazing, but why should that surprise me? What gets the lump in my throat (in a nice way) is that I'm special enough for Him to remember me. I'm so precious to Him that He's given me something that I desperately craved for so long.  And quite honestly, what He's given me is something unusual - a very rare gift. Why IS it so hard to accept that I really am this special to Him? The fact is: God treasures me! I'm only just beginning to experience this first hand. Guess what! God treasures YOU too. Even if, like me, you never really thought you were quite good enough for Him, God treasures you!

Someone recently compared me to a diamond. Is this really what God thinks of me? Mind-blowing stuff, eh?

I think the point of this post is that for the first time in my life, I'm actually experiencing in a very real, tangible way that I am precious to my Heavenly Father. Me!  Out of the billions of people on this planet He's taken the time to remember how I tearfully implored Him to hear me all those years ago. With this wonderful answer to prayer, He's becoming more "real" to me. He's teaching me a whole new way of expressing my love for Him.

And I think He's just a little bit excited for me.

BFFs

I read an article online about Oprah and her bestie, Gayle King. With all the wild rumours surrounding their friendship, I was curious to learn how they themselves viewed their bond.  Oprah's an up front sort of person and I believe her when she says there's nothing dodgy going on between them.  It's not a relationship that's easy to define but it does seem to be something really special and well worth hanging onto. I have to say that I got goosebumps reading it. A friendship like theirs must be one in a million and to have the priviledge of a wholesome, intimate love like theirs isn't to be taken for granted.  It's a long article but worth reading if you're interested in finding out more about how these two women define themselves although that said, I wonder why on earth they should need to. Take a look if you like: Gayle King and Oprah Uncensored I especially like this comment from the interviewer, Lisa Kogan: "People ache for a connection...They want someone who doesn't have an agenda, doesn't see you filtered through the prism of their own needs." Profound, eh?

Love like this doesn't come by every day.

Apparantly Oprah and Gayle speak at least 4 - 5 times every single day. If they haven't had the chance to contact each other then the day just doesn't feel right to them.  I'm also lucky enough have a special friend or two that touch base with me daily, whether it's a text, an e-mail, on Facebook...the day just wouldn't seem right if I hadn't heard from them. Sometimes when I receive a text from an extra special friend, a smile creeps across my face as I look forward to reading what they have to say. Even if they're just telling me what they're having for lunch, I just can't help grinning no matter how discreet I try to be with my phone on vibrate. Anyone who's fallen in love with Jesus can probably see the similarity in their walk with Him and these special friendships. Things just don't feel right if we haven't been in touch with the Best Friend we can ever have. Apart from filling a very basic need to be loved, I think God gives us close companionship with others to offer us a glimpse of how to love Him.  And I like to think that when Jesus gets a "message alert" from me, He might get that same smile on his face.  He adores me more than I can ever know and is hoping to hear from me, even if it is just a silly little story about my day. I think He's itching to reply to me and tell me about His plans too.

Hey Jesus? It's just me. How're You doing? Want to hear about my day?

I'm a hopeless pray-er. I hear people talk about spending an hour in the mornings praying and reading the Bible, wearing out their carpet with their knee caps and I'm afraid I'm just not in their league. Organising a Quiet Time in my house is Mission Impossible sometimes but I can and certainly do manage to keep in touch with my Majestical Bestie at regular intervals throughout the day.  Sometimes I get tongue-tied and can't even form complete sentences (that happens with my earthly friends too). But God has no agenda with me. He doesn't have any needs. He just loves me and enjoys it when I come into His presence - even when I'm making no sense at all.

So Lord, you are my very best, most intimate BFF. Any day without You in it just wouldn't be living, it would simply be existence. And if I should have the privilege of loving another person the way Gayle loves Oprah, then I'll embrace it and understand it as a tangible example of loving You.

Sometimes there's nothing quite like a hug from the One who loves me most

Boogers come out my nose when I cry

I was having a conversation with someone about the word "maudlin" the other day. Despite achieving School Certificate English in 1978, it was a new word to me. It turns out that my friend had been feeling a bit maudlin and when I asked for an explanation, she described it as a bit "Eeyoreish". Not surprisingly, that was a word I could understand a little more clearly.

Me and my Eeyoreish friend :-)

Neither of us were fully satisfied with our definition so we raced to our respective homes to find a dictionary.  My friend beat me to it - she's also beating me in online Scrabble at the moment.  It turns out that maudlin means "foolishly tearful or sentimental, as when drunk

[from Middle English Maudelen Mary Magdalene, typically portrayed as a tearful penitent]"

This is a maudlin drunk

I got to wondering about the connection between the word and Mary Magdalene. I can understand that the word sounds ever so slightly like her name, but I was never aware that she was foolishly tearful while drunk.  I've seen a few Booze Hags in my time (you know who you are!) and hadn't really pictured Mary as one of them.

This is apparantly Mary Magdalene and I don't think she's had a drop

So I wondered, if it wasn't the booze, what was Mary always weeping about?  When I think of her, I think of a woman who had a bit of a chequered past. Someone who felt pretty icky about some of the things she'd done. Someone just like...ME. When I think of her meeting Jesus, and hearing Him tell her that she was okay by Him, I think I can picture her having a right snot fest at the wonder of someone so magnificent loving her just as she was.  The art work we see of Mary Magdalene crying is a bit glamorous I think. She doesn't have puffy eyes or boogers dangling off the end of her nose. Her mascara doesn't even run.  Mine does...

...I don't even look this pretty:

This is a Snot-Fest

I've decided that I quite like the way Mary Magdalene cries. Her tears remind me of forgiveness, being unconditionally loved no matter what, being able to love someone else (in her case, Jesus) so much that it makes you leak uncontrollably.  I want to be able to love like that.  Maybe feeling slightly maudlin once in a while isn't so bad - just stay away from the plonk.

 Incidentally, during the course of our conversation I told my Eeyoreish friend my mother's middle names: Maud Ellen. She thought it was hillarious.

Forgiven

So I stuffed up last weekend.  Not just a teensy little boo boo - this was something REALLY BIG.  Not only did this BIG stuff up hurt a lot of people who love me, it was also the catalyst for another disaster.  Beloved got such a shock that he suffered a massive blood clot in his lung and nearly died.  In fact hospital staff were amazed that he didn't.

But he didn't.

And God knows what I did.

And He loves me and forgives me anyway. 

He really is a very very nice God.

I'm a girl and I can sulk if I want to

 Apparantly when we come up against conflict, the human instinct is fight or flight. I'm not so sure if this is God's instinct which is more likely to involve such things as Grace, compassion and forgiveness. Since I'm "me" however, I can choose to do one of the former, and since I'm a woman, I can do both. So when Beloved innocently pushes the wrong buttons - I say "innocently" because he is just a man who hasn't fully worked out how complex the female mind actually is - it's perfectly logical to offer a piece of my mind before hitting the metal in the van and screeching up the street at a full 40 kms/ph (hey, just because I'm moody doesn't make me a law breaker).  I'm getting quite clever now because in the early days of our marriage I used to take off on foot, sometimes in barefeet and often without my handbag. I'm older and wiser now and take transport and a cardi.

I found myself hooning up the road the other evening. What normally takes place during one of my drives shall remain my secret because I'm mysterious and enigmatic. On this occasion though, I noticed that the sun was setting so I headed for the beach to watch. I sat at the waterfront feeling sorry for myself and told God that while I appreciate His cool artistic talents in making a pretty sunset, I wasn't listening and was going to put my ipod in my ears, so there!

Some how All American Reject's "Hope It Gives You Hell" wasn't lifting my mood so I flicked forward and came across Evie. And it wasn't even downloaded illegally from the internet (as if I would!). About a year ago the lovely Evie Karlsson mailed me a couple of her CDs herself in response to the fan page I set up on Facebook. So Evie came through with one of my favourite songs.  I think God wanted me to hear this:

He never said you'd only see sunshine.
He never said there'd be no rain.
He only promised us a heart full of singing.
At the very thing that once caused pain.

Give them all...
Give them all...
Give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, broken toys.
Give then all...
Give them all...
Give them all to Jesus
And He will turn your sorrow into joy.

Errrm, thanks Lord. Nice sunset by the way :-)