Tuesday, December 20, 2011

David Attenborough should be a prescription medicine.

Occasionally I have trouble falling asleep, but one thing almost guarantees to have me comatose in a matter of minutes: a rollicking good nature documentary. I absolutely adore nature documentaries and find them sooooo relaxing. It might not be appropriate to say that I should sleep with David Attenborough but the hypnotic tones of his voice has me dreaming about gibbons and elephant droppings in no time. And it's not just the world's greatest natural history film maker who has this effect on me. If the narrator has a soothing voice, if there are insect noises and lots of leaves or fish, I'm absorbed to a state of semi-consciousness.

The cool thing about a couch potato is you can't tell if it's asleep or awake.
The other night I was treated to yet another amazing recount of the world around us when, just as I was drifting off and starting to drool on the remote, something incredible mind blowing came on:

Leaf cutter ants
I thought these guys looked pretty impressive carrying such nicely carved leaves to their nest. They were working so hard and I just figured that they were hoarding food for the winter. I remember the Grasshopper and the Ant story so it didn't really surprise me. But then...the narrator explained what these little guys were doing:

Farmers! These ants are using the leaves to cultivate their own fungus farm. IT BLEW MY MIND! I mean, HOW does an ant know to DO this?

I wanted to tell the world what I'd just learned, even though I'm not sure if the world really wanted to know. I got to thinking about the whole universe and "stuff". Pretty deep, I know. But if thinking about all that work God did when He flung the stars and planets into place has ever made you feel feel tiny and insignificant, I figure that remembering that He gave a teeny tiny ant the brain power to run it's own fungus farm kind of puts things into perspective. 

Matthew 10:31 Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows (and fungus farms)

Saturday, November 5, 2011

My body is a temple

 Right then! I did a Bible study the other day. Well, sort of... We live in a technological age and for some reason, these days it seems easier to open my laptop, wait for it to boot up, check my e-mails, log into Smile City to earn points, cruise through Trademe to see what costumes are in the latest listings, log into Facebook, "network" with my buddies (because I'm a Christian and we all know that Christians don't gossip - especially online), play a few games of Wordscraper, try to up my score on Word Drop and then check into Facebook's Daily Bible Scripture...instead of grabbing my actual Bible from the bedside cabinet and opening all those big, heavy pages. Yes, worship can take many forms...
Anyway, the Scripture of the day was from Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Hmmm...interesting. I have a question on that one. How do we DO that?  I've been around God Circles for a few decades now and during that time I've had plenty of advice on how NOT to use my body as a living sacrifice, the whole "Temple of the Holy Spirit" thing and all that no smoking, no boozing, no sex outside of marriage and ABSOLUTELY no tattoos or dancing or anything that might be considered "fun". Sadly this temple has had a few cracks in the plaster over time so I thought this verse showed a lot of promise. Instead of what I DON'T do to please God, I can think about what I DO do (*snigger* I just said "do do" *smirk*)
So, here I am, a grotty old Temple who could do with a few refurbishments. I've been scratching my head a little and trying to work out what I should be doing with my body to turn this run down shack of a body into more suitable accommodation for the Holy Ghost. Not to say that I haven't made some effort over the years. I don't smoke (except for that time when I was visiting my friend R and I hid under the barbeque table with a packet of Rothmans, but that was all for a good cause), I don't drink (except for that time my neighbour invited me over for a Christmas tipple and I tripped over the hurricane fencing when I tried to get home), I've dabbled with vegetarianism and I even attended a Zumba class once. So I think it's fair to say that I've had good crack at using my body as a living Temple and a sacrifice to please God. The only thing I haven't tried very hard at is martyring my body and actually dying for a Godly cause. Ummm...I'm not exactly sure how that ties in with treating my body like a temple but I'm hoping that it won't become necessary to put it to the test.
Anyway, if you happen to have any thoughts on how to do this living sacrifice thing, be sure to let me know because I'd really like to get it right.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

My daughter's Vlog

Okay, here's something just for the cuteness value. But hey, Jesus loves kids so I reckon He loves this little clip of my daughter I posted on You Tube this morning. The words and music are completely made up by her. Clever, huh?

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Minus the "thees" and "thous"

I was driving home the other day and talking to my "Passenger". You know, stuff like: "Lord, did you see that idiot run that light? Oh, I guess you did, being God and all that" As I was driving I started to think about my besties, R (my banana split buddy) and Smiley (my work buddy...yeah...that's right...ummm..."work"). I thought about all the time I spend with them and all the stuff we talk about. Then a nasty little condemning thought snuck into my head: I am a terrible pray-er.

I decided to mention it to God. "Ummm...God. I'm a terrible pray-er. I'm really sorry but I just don't know how to do a better job of it."  I sort of got the feeling that Jesus was wanting me to clarify a little better. "Well you see, I don't seem to spend as much time with you as I should and I just wish I could talk with you the way I talk with my friends. I tell them all sorts of stuff. I'm just not very good at saying Prayers."
I had a feeling that Jesus was trying to suppress a slightly smug smile at the corner of his lips. In fact, I think I might have just about heard Him say something like: "And what is it you think you've been doing all this time while we were driving home together just now?"
"Huh? But...that doesn't count!"
"Why not?"
"Because it's not 'Proper' praying."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't seem to be good at the whole Praise and Worship thing."
Then I think I might have imagined that Jesus could possibly have done this:
"Ummm...Jesus, did you just FACE PALM me?????"
To which Jesus probably replied: "Yup. I think I did."
I think I was starting to understand what He was trying to get at. I looked up and noticed the sun peeping out from behind a really fluffy cloud. "Oooooh, look at that Lord. Isn't that pretty!"
"Thanks. I thought so when I made it"
"You really are a very talented Artist!"
And I think Jesus might have had a sparkle in His eye and possibly said something like: "You know...I really do love you

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Preparation is the key

 My friend Smiley has become involved in the theater this year. She's in the chorus of "Oklahoma!" which, having paid my $28 for a ticket, is honestly one of the best shows I've seen. The cast has put in a lifetime of practice and the performance is completely polished and professional. I am so proud of her for having the guts to front up to the initial auditions on her own and dedicate herself to practice after (long) practice. Naturally, I've been keen to muscle in on the action and I just love how God prepared me for my role in showbiz.

Over the last school holidays I became and Extreme Ironist.

Every school holidays, I seem to get overtaken by a new obsession which tends to lead to unusual behaviours such as decapitating baby dolls and wearing gelatine in my hair - but that's a whole other post for my "quirky" blog. This time it was something I've spent the last four (plus!) decades of my life avoiding with a vengeance. I have always despised ironing. Heck, I don't think I even knew how to hold the thing. Then I watched R ironing in front of her telly, my friend at school "Spiffy" had a clothing swap party, I cleared out my wardrobe...one thing led to another and the next thing you know I'd bought an iron, a clothing stand, TWO ironing boards and about fifty coat hangers.  I was hooked and spent about ten days ironing with passion and fervor.

Meanwhile, there was a whisper from Smiley that a wardrobe assistant was needed backstage to help with COSTUMES (did I ever mention that I have a slight penchant for dress ups?).  Just as I was getting carried away in some fantasy land where it rained sequins, Smiley reminded me that in Oklahoma they wear a lot of denim and gingham.  It also turns out that wardrobe assistants get to hang around in the freezing backstage area with an ironing board, pressing the aforementioned gingham frocks whilst making slightly inappropriate comments to half-naked school boys who really do look a lot older than they should.  Oh yes. I am a Bohemian-type theater person now - who irons.

Don't you just love how God provides and prepares as He gets us ready for jobs that need to be done?