I'm Armed and Dangerous

I'm not terribly efficient at putting on my Ephesians 6 Armour each day. Some mornings it's all I can do to wear matching shoes. Mind you, I always manage to put on my makeup, right through to the essential blue eyeliner (reminiscent of Princess Di). But I suppose that while I'm applying my wrinkle-busting foundation it probably wouldn't hurt to throw on a bit of chainmail every now and then.

This week in Church our Pastor, MK, was talking about the Holy Spirit. I don't get to be in church very often as I hang out with the kids in Sunday School most weeks, which tends to suit someone who refuses to grow up and be mature. So it was a rare treat to be sitting in Church actually listening to a sermon. Well...I was trying to listen. It's hard not to let my mind wander and start asking God why Pastors look about 12 years old these days. Since when did Pastors start getting younger than me? Anyway, I was actually paying attention to MK's talk and found it pretty interesting. He was talking about Pentecost, Baptism of the Holy Spirit, Spiritual Gifts and all that profoundly theological stuff. At the end of the Message he gave a subtle altar call for those wanting to be better equipped for God's work. Normally I lay low for these altar calls but this time I found myself sprinting up to the front of the church before I'd even realized that my bum was off the pew.

I'd been thinking about how it is in Sunday School. Occasionally great things can happen with our youngsters down in that room (check out God hears little voices), yet other times things can just fall into a slightly organized chaos. Last week I'd had to have some pretty stern words with a couple of little lambs and I didn't like it one bit. So I figured, the Holy Spirit is the best back up I can have. So up to the front I went. I don't really remember even getting there but I was determined not to fall down in a heap on the floor like those folk on the telly evangelist shows. God ignored that part. Oh well, I did want to "lay low". Thank goodness for black leggings, that's what I say.

So going up the front and asking to be prepared and equipped for battle was quite a cool experience. But be careful what you ask for. If you're getting ready to do battle fore the Kingdom, you can pretty much guarantee that there's someone wanting to pick a fight. I had a bit of a low day on Monday. I was also getting some vivid dreams and broken sleep. The first two dreams definitely felt like God wanted to tell me something and they had a similar theme. The third night the dream was different but was so vivid and uncomfortable that I told Beloved about it. I knew what it was and wanted to know what he thought of it. He interrupted my description: "You're being spiritually attacked!" COOOOOOL!!! Beloved actually prayed for me there and then.

Meanwhile, I feel just a little bit special to be considered enough of a threat to the enemy. What's so important about little me that would get Hairy Legs concerned enough to give me a couple of rough days and a threatening dream? I'm only a Sunday School teacher for goodness sake. Maybe Hairy Legs doesn't like that "Little Box" song that I get the kids to sing that ends with the devil being put in a little black box before we BUST HIM UP (picture a room full of kids stomping and smashing the devil at the same time).

I enjoy hanging with the kids in Sunday School and have never really understood why more people don't take up the offer to help out. What hadn't occurred to me before is that Hairy Legs is really SCARED when Jesus reaches the hearts of children. I think Hairy Legs likes "playing" with kids. I think he wants to hang around them nice and early so that he can do all he can to mess up their lives before they start to enjoy themselves too much. He doesn't want them to know about God's abundant life and the Joy they can have in knowing Jesus. He'd much prefer to tempt our youngsters into a few of his unsavoury schemes that might cause them a little - or a lot - of harm.

Oooh yeah! I'm dangerous! Tomorrow morning when I apply my lippy, I might just remember to come over all Joan of Arc (with blue eyeliner) and pick up my sword of the Spirit before I head out the door.

If the shirt fits...

A friend returned from Australia recently and mentioned that he was tempted to bring home a gift for me (he didn’t  because he’s a tightwad, a truth which was verified when he recounted the electrifying museum tour he gate-crashed without paying).  He’d spotted a tee shirt at the markets  and for some reason it reminded him of me - but he wasn’t sure how I’d take it:

Interesting...

Perhaps it’s because I resemble the picture? I am a bit skinny and I do have a long thin nose, I go red in the sun, I had my head shaved once and I can look pretty evil when I’m mad. Hang on, I don’t remember giving my permission for them to use my image on that shirt! On the other hand, he knows that I’m “religious” - *shudder* his word, not mine - so maybe he just saw the word “God” and thought of me. Most likely he simply assumes that I have a whacking good sense of humour and would be able to see the irony in the statement the shirt makes.

IMHO (that’s net-natter for “in my humble opinion” because I’m so up to date with the tech scene) God’s never too busy to spend time with His kids. Unfortunately some folks have tried to put Him in a box with human limitations and think that He’s just not up to the task of keeping track of everything that’s going on. Pffft! Piddlestacks! He IS God for God’s sake!

Sadly, lots of people do end up checking out what ol’ Hairy Legs has on offer instead. We live in an age of instant gratification and a hedonistic lifestyle is just irresistible for some of us. I reckon that Hairy's the fiend who came up with the tee shirt slogan in the first place. I don’t know about you but I don’t trust a thing that swindler has to say. God's busy? Don't believe it!