Boogers come out my nose when I cry

I was having a conversation with someone about the word "maudlin" the other day. Despite achieving School Certificate English in 1978, it was a new word to me. It turns out that my friend had been feeling a bit maudlin and when I asked for an explanation, she described it as a bit "Eeyoreish". Not surprisingly, that was a word I could understand a little more clearly.

Me and my Eeyoreish friend :-)

Neither of us were fully satisfied with our definition so we raced to our respective homes to find a dictionary.  My friend beat me to it - she's also beating me in online Scrabble at the moment.  It turns out that maudlin means "foolishly tearful or sentimental, as when drunk

[from Middle English Maudelen Mary Magdalene, typically portrayed as a tearful penitent]"

This is a maudlin drunk

I got to wondering about the connection between the word and Mary Magdalene. I can understand that the word sounds ever so slightly like her name, but I was never aware that she was foolishly tearful while drunk.  I've seen a few Booze Hags in my time (you know who you are!) and hadn't really pictured Mary as one of them.

This is apparantly Mary Magdalene and I don't think she's had a drop

So I wondered, if it wasn't the booze, what was Mary always weeping about?  When I think of her, I think of a woman who had a bit of a chequered past. Someone who felt pretty icky about some of the things she'd done. Someone just like...ME. When I think of her meeting Jesus, and hearing Him tell her that she was okay by Him, I think I can picture her having a right snot fest at the wonder of someone so magnificent loving her just as she was.  The art work we see of Mary Magdalene crying is a bit glamorous I think. She doesn't have puffy eyes or boogers dangling off the end of her nose. Her mascara doesn't even run.  Mine does...

...I don't even look this pretty:

This is a Snot-Fest

I've decided that I quite like the way Mary Magdalene cries. Her tears remind me of forgiveness, being unconditionally loved no matter what, being able to love someone else (in her case, Jesus) so much that it makes you leak uncontrollably.  I want to be able to love like that.  Maybe feeling slightly maudlin once in a while isn't so bad - just stay away from the plonk.

 Incidentally, during the course of our conversation I told my Eeyoreish friend my mother's middle names: Maud Ellen. She thought it was hillarious.

Forgiven

So I stuffed up last weekend.  Not just a teensy little boo boo - this was something REALLY BIG.  Not only did this BIG stuff up hurt a lot of people who love me, it was also the catalyst for another disaster.  Beloved got such a shock that he suffered a massive blood clot in his lung and nearly died.  In fact hospital staff were amazed that he didn't.

But he didn't.

And God knows what I did.

And He loves me and forgives me anyway. 

He really is a very very nice God.

If you find yourself standing in doody, clean it up.

A couple of years ago we found ourselves unexpectedly babysitting someone’s dog. She was a golden lab of advanced years (the dog, not the owner - although she was once mistaken for a senior citizen at Happy Days which can almost count as being old). Initially, when Beloved brought her home, I hoped that she may be able teach my little yapper a thing or two about doggie decorum. But by the next morning the novelty had worn off.  My affection was fading fast when it was apparent that this dog was not housetrained. Admittedly, I should have known better than to wander half-asleep into the living room with bare feet. Even though I don’t drink coffee, that’s what I’d much rather have as a wakeup call than to find myself standing in a pile of poop.  What impressed me most was the sheer magnitude of it. Just how big is a Labrador’s butt anyway? It looked like Burma the elephant had been caught short in front of my 29” Panasonic.

Other than that, she was a very nice dog - until later that afternoon. That’s when she had got into some dodgy rubbish bags and decided to refurnish our downstairs carpet with her vomit. Again with the quantity! I know these details are difficult to stomach but I suffered in looking after this dog and I don’t like to suffer alone so you’ll just have to tolerate it. I had to use TWO dishpans and a pile of newspaper to pick the stuff up because it was sloshy and squidgy and very very gross.  The situation was worsened because this vile creature kept trying to push in and EAT HER OWN SICK!  Even so, there was still something engaging about this beast and every time she came up for a tummy rub I’d give it to her.

Of course, no human being in their right mind would do anything so gross, right?  Oh right, there’s that proverb in the Bible that says “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.” Hmmm...I guess that’s something along the lines of going back to the stupid stuff we do that we know we shouldn’t do, the kind of stuff that hurts ourselves or people around us.  And because none of us is perfect on this side of Heaven, we ALL do it!  Eeeyew! How DOES God put up with us when we do that? When I saw that dog trying to scoff its own puke I grimaced like a Cockney in a gurning competition. I darn near heaved up my own lunch. Thank goodness God doesn’t treat us with the same kind of disdain. He sees the endearing qualities in us and just keeps on loving us and teaching us how we can do better next time.

Come January, I’m making a New Year’s Resolution (again!): I won't return to my own vomit of carrot-chunkiness. No, I will NOT! Really...I’ll try very hard not to.  Okay, I possibly will lick my own chunder once in a while, but I’ll really REALLY try to stay away from it...really! Well, maybe if I do stuff up and fall off the wagon, I’ll go right up to that throne of Grace and ask God to forgive me.  He will, and I think He might even give me a scratch behind my ears because He just loves me anyway. Hey, be patient. I’m still in training and God hasn’t finished with me yet.